A New Meaning of the World Script

When you hear the word “Script” you’ll probably think about a writing of some sort – like a movie script. The recent strike of the Hollywood Script Writers has certainly underscored this meaning of the word. Another common use of the word script is to describe ancient scripts like the “Dead Sea Scrolls”.

However, the script I want to talk about is the Life Script. Any script is essentially a predefined sequence of words or events (a program, if you will) which the actors follow meticulously to convey the message of the movie or play to the audience. Likewise, any predefined path like the ethnical background of a person, the heritage of his people, family traditions, etc. are all programs making up the Life Script by which a person – the actor – lives his life in interaction with the audience, the people he comes in contact with daily, like family, friends, co-workers, etc.

Everyone lives by a Life Script. There are no exceptions to this rule. A newborn automatically inherits the Script of his parents and lives by it in the early years of his life. A baby born to a Maasai tribal mother in Africa views the world from the back of his mother and grows up living in grass huts that are shared with goats and other livestock. This view of the world differs totally from that of a baby born to, say, a Russian, Asian or European mother, each of whom speaks a different language and has different customs, beliefs and traditions.

In addition to these inherent ethnical and family related Scripts, each person develops Scripts that are unique to him/her. These views are formed by events that happen in a child’s life – usually before the age of 7. During the growth years from 3-7 years old, a child is most malleable and can be influenced greatly by teachings, behavior and outside events that have an emotional impact on the child, such as a physical hurt, a scare, a traumatic event, an emotional pain or jealousy (e.g. of a new sibling).

All of the above are examples of a negative Script which results in new programming. When you are told “don’t touch the hot stove or you’ll burn yourself”, this has little impact until you actually do touch the hot stove and experience the physical pain associated with a burn. At that moment the subconscious mind is programmed and henceforth it will warn the conscious mind to steer away from the experienced danger.

A much more serious physical pain as a result of childhood trauma such as brutality by a parent or stranger, or sexual assault, has a much deeper effect on the subconscious. A mistreated child learns not to trust anyone and that defines his Life Script. A scare, such as an encounter with an unfamiliar person, animal or thing, can have a similar effect. Imagine children playing near a pool of water or small brook and one of them falling into it accidentally. Even though this accident results in no physical pain or illness, the very act of falling and immersion in cold water can cause a fright that will be remembered by the subconscious mind in the same way as touching the hot stove.

Emotional pain is triggered by words. Remember the old saying “sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”? Well, actually the opposite is true. Words are much more powerful than you can imagine when it comes to the subconscious mind. Physical pain is soon forgotten, but emotional pain stays with us forever. Careless words spoken by a parent, teacher or other influential person in a child’s life are key elements in the formation of negative Scripts. A Child told that he or she is stupid or useless will have a very low self esteem and an adult and live by the code “I’m worthless…”

Other emotions, such as jealously, anger, hatred, etc. also form part of a child’s Script. The only child that has been pampered and spoiled by its parents feels pushed away at the arrival of a sibling. This could trigger a lifelong feeling of inadequacy “I am not good enough – my parents needed another child, someone better than me” … or one of competition “You think you could box me out of my position? I’ll show you! “, which sets the stage for lifelong sibling rivalry.

No matter what the situation or event, each negative event during early childhood has an impact on the way a child sees the world and how he prepares himself to live in it. Not all Scripts are negative, but unfortunately they are the majority. Positive Scripts are not formed by traumatic events and thus there is no one emotional trigger implanted in the subconscious. Instead, they are formed by constant reassurance, praise and expressions of love to make the child feel comfortable and secure at all times.

The good news is that negative Scripts do not have to be permanent. Like computer programs, they can be changed. Of course, this process is not as easy as buying a new CD at the computer store and clicking a few buttons to install it at home. A bit more savvy and understanding of the subject matter is required, much like a programmer has to learn the programming language first before he can attempt to write a new software application.

Understanding one’s own Script is a crucial element. One begins by asking the questions: Who am I? Why am I the way I am? Why am I so ___________ (unhappy, scared, angry, cautious, incapable, etc. – you fill in the word)? What happened in my past that made me so __________?

Getting to the root of the problem may take time, persistence and outside help by a skilled coach or counselor, particularly if there was significant trauma associated with it. It is also probable that bringing back memories of emotionally charged events of the past will trigger emotional reactions in the present which have to be reckoned with and dealt with before one can move on to the formation of a new Script and a better life.

As we put the past behind us, the fun begins. We get to dream big and write ourselves a New Script. Again, we start by asking ourselves the questions: Who am I? What are my likes, loves and biggest dreams? What kind of life do I want to live? What are my values? Which beliefs that I grew up with no longer serve me?

The deeper you dig into your psyche, the more satisfying will be your journey to the truth about yourself. And when you really know yourself, as you are today – the first day of the rest of your life – writing your New Script will be easy.

Instead of saying to yourself “I am unworthy”, “I am stupid”, “I am a coward”, “I am a loser”, etc., you will replace these negative sayings with positive affirmations, such as “I am worth it!” “I am intelligent and able”, “I am strong and powerful and I shy away from no challenge”, “I am a winner – I can achieve anything I set my mind to!”

Affirming this new Life Script to yourself over and over again will anchor it in your subconscious and replace the old programming. Repetition and knowing how to communicate with your subconscious will be the key to your success.

Enjoy the journey!